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In the moment before you die, something incredible happens. Incredible and terribly sad. No matter how you die. Whether it is on a hospital bed surrounded by your loved ones, in an empty alley way alone and bleeding, suddenly as the bullet enters your head- we all experience the same infinitesimal and finite event.

Everyone relives their life, backward.

We emerge into the world, at our oldest. Most of us are heavy creatures with gray hair and fine lines, and we are clean. Slowly, we are encased in dirt. The water and soaps sucked off by amazing faucets, we change through a myriad of clothing. Trying, in vain, to find the perfect outfit. As we walk, sedately, backward we grow bigger then smaller.

Our face changes as we go through life backward. Tears are brought back, pain is kept inside and then taken out. Kisses are taken, instead of given. A lover becomes, initially, a person we have known for ever. Then they slowly forget us, as we forget them. Comfortable silences and hands being held turn into meaningless sex, until one day you pass by each other with no recollection of the other. The terrible thing is, you are aware of this reality and you can not do anything about it.

Our brains are slowly wiped and wrung out like sponges to dry. All the accumulated knowledge we come in with, into the world is given back to the world. After all, what use is knowledge where you are going?

Perhaps, most interesting of all, is our edification. We slowly, beatifically, unlearn. The words, books, numbers we have internalized are given to our unlearners, previously our teachers. Our brains are slowly wiped and wrung out like sponges to dry. All the accumulated knowledge we come in with, into the world is given back to the world. After all, what use is knowledge where you are going?

And again, we grow younger. Our hair long, short, no hair, some hair. Our eyes become rounder and rounder, skin smoothes and wrinkles disappear. You use makeup and plastic surgery to look older. Our children become indifferent adults, to rebellious teenager to the gentle and wonderful time; when they are too young to understand how to hate us.

The blood from our various wounds is sucked back inside our flesh, teeth fall out and tiny milk teeth replace them. And then those melt back into tender pink gums. Our limbs are shortening now much more rapidly. Our view of the world becomes dizzying, and everything is an obstacle to be overcome. Yet we lack independence, and depend upon the warmth of giant hands. Warm and brown, they encase us in a protective steadying way. Our heads now look to large for our fragile bodies. We can no longer crawl, instead we lay upon our backs the occasional wail that is hanging about in the air, is sucked inside of us.

Now we are covered by warm trembling hands of our mothers, holding us for the first and last time. The world is overly bright and confusing, as disorienting as a gunshot to the head. Though we do not know what guns are, for we know nothing but our death. And then hands move away, we are now sucked back into darkness, the cries of our mother are unheard as she too ages backward. She too will crawl backward into the comfortable darkness of her mother’s womb.

With out final or conscious thoughts.

But with all the memories of our lived and relived life.

We die.

“In this climate of anti-Muslim sentiment, this is the best time for us as Muslims to show our community what we have to offer and take it upon ourselves to reach out to those who may not know about Islam and show them that by having Muslims in our communities is a benefit to all people not just Muslims.”

The past few days during the blessed month of Ramadan have been difficult for me as a Muslim living in the West. The news from our neighbours to the south is inundated with stories of protests against mosques and Islamic cultural centres, stabbings of fasting cab drivers and the ever growing fear of Muslims “taking over” America. The cover of Time Magazine poignantly asks: “Is America Islamophobic?.” which leads many Canadian Muslims to say “Thank God we don’t live there!” If we travel back in time almost a year ago to when the Swiss voted to ban new minarets in their country, I am sure many American Muslims would have said “Thank God we don’t live there!” This leads me to question if we as Canadians are immune to this kind of fear-mongering, and, with the recent arrest of a young Muslim Canadian Idol contestant and the proposed ban on the Niqab in Quebec, is the issue of widespread fear of Muslims is no longer a question of if. but a question of when?

Many pundits both from inside and outside the Muslim community have accused Park51 as a primary reason for the current climate in the US. For those who don’t know, Park51 is a proposed community centre being built 2 blocks north and around the corner of Ground Zero in lower Manhattan in an abandoned Burlington Coat Factory building. The complex will have a swimming pool, auditorium, gym, culinary school and a prayer space; its advisory board is made of community members of different faith groups and other community centres like the YMCA and Manhattan’s Jewish Community Centre.

As you can tell, I am in support of this initiative and freedom of religion for all in the US, as are many Americans including Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Jon Stewart, Keith Olbermann, Fareed Zakaria, Nancy Pelosi and President Barack Obama. To me this centre has the potential to represent the best the Muslim community has to offer in an area filled with liquor stores, abandoned buildings, strip clubs and off-track betting stores all of which are closer to Ground Zero than Park51. And the argument about being sensitive to the families of 9/11 families falsely implies that all Muslims are collectively guilty of the 9/11 attacks, that all 9/11 families are against this centre (many families have come out in support) and that there were no Muslim victims of 9/11. With all that being said, to me this project was simply the match that lit the fire to an underlying fear of Muslims that has been growing in America. This was bound to happen sooner or later, if not with Park51 then with something else. As Canadian Muslims, we must ask ourselves: How can we prevent this from happening here?

Unfortunately, Muslims in the West get stuck in the idea that we must keep our heads down, not interact with too many people outside our community and we must maintain all aspects of our cultural background. This attitude is often exemplified in our religious institutions, particularly our mosques.

Although it might seem nearly impossible to prevent backlash like this in our country, there are ways to inhibit the scale of it. Some would suggest giving in, not making it obvious that you are a Muslim, or even sacrificing ones rights as a Muslim Canadian to ensure the happiness of the majority. To me this is giving in to injustice and bigotry, two things that many Muslims are vehemently opposed to. To me the best way to fight Islamophobia is to be the best Muslims we can be in our communities. Now when we look at the Qur’an and Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) we see many examples of the importance of being a good neighbour, such as: “Worship God and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, the poor, the neighbour who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet)… Verily, God does not like such as are proud and boastful.” (Quran 4:36)

When we look at the Qur’an verse above it is obvious that those whom we must be good to are not exclusive to those who are your family, or those who are Muslim or even those who live next door to you, but rather being good to those in your community. Unfortunately, Muslims in the West get stuck in the idea that we must keep our heads down, not interact with too many people outside our community and we must maintain all aspects of our cultural background. This attitude is often exemplified in our religious institutions, particularly our mosques.

A few years ago there was a mosque built near where my parents live and of course they were quite excited with a mosque closer to home. However, that excitement quickly faded once it was built, when looking at this mosque the first thing you notice is that it is surrounded by these big ugly black gates, which to many gives it the impression that it is an exclusive location for Muslims only. This is in sharp contrast to the Church across the street which has an open garden in the front where neighbourhood children of all faiths play. Next, with the construction of the mosque there was an influx of Muslims in the neighbourhood, which is great, but many of their non-Muslims neighbours began to complain that the Muslims were often unfriendly to them or failed to maintain their property (for those who live in the suburbs, keeping a nice garden in your front yard is a big deal and makes the neighbourhood feel more pleasant). This unfortunately led to an exodus of many wonderful non-Muslim neighbours. And finally. the straw that broke the camel’s back for me was a few years ago at Eid prayers, when for some reason someone at the Masjid decided that the Khutba was going to be in Classical Urdu, a dialect most young Urdu-speaking people won’t understand let alone those of us who don’t speak Urdu. Is there any wonder why the general public has suspicions of Muslims, when so many of us don’t bother to create an unfriendly environment for our neighbours and we often fail to communicate with them?

This problem is not in our neighbourhoods but also in our workplaces and in classrooms (particularly at University of Toronto). Think to yourself how often have you said greeted the stranger sitting next to you in class or showed what it means to be a practicing Muslim to your friends, instead of saying “I gotta go take care of some business” as you go to pray Jummu’ah. In this climate of anti-Muslim sentiment, this is the best time for us as Muslims to show our community what we have to offer and take it upon ourselves to reach out to those who may not know about Islam and show them that by having Muslims in our communities is a benefit to all people not just Muslims.

In the case of Park 51, community centres like it are what we should be building everywhere to benefit everyone in our community. The Qur’an states: “To those who believe and do deeds of righteousness hath Allah promised forgiveness and a great reward” (Qur’an 5:9), which should be an incentive for Muslims to move towards being a community that is both faith-based and service-based. Finally, although I do support the Park51 project, I would suggest to their community and our campus community to start today by being productive members of society, don’t wait until a complex is built or for someone to do it for you, but do it today because no one knows what will happen to Muslims tomorrow and only Allah (swt) knows what hardships may come.

If your interests lie on the administrative side of things, we have positions available that contribute to the management of the magazine, including marketing/promotions, printing and event co-ordination. Let us know!

When one thinks of Muslim problems, places like Palestine, Iraq and Afghanistan pop in the mind. Perhaps, Somalia and Darfur, if one reads beyond headlines. Certainly, Muslims in those areas are afflicted, but together these areas represent only a fraction of the Muslim world. However, there are a set of problems that affect a vast majority of Muslims in the world. One of these problems is climate change.

Climate change will adversely affect the world and Muslim majority countries are no exception. Decreased food production, as well as the melting of Himalayan glaciers and rise in sea levels will affect the lives of millions of Muslims. Economic difficulties, natural disasters and creation of refugees (due to disasters) can often disrupt the stability of a region. In fact, climate change has the potential of igniting armed conflict in much of the Muslim world.

Modern day climate change, sometimes called global warming, corresponds to the general increase in the earth’s temperature. Such a change will cause sea levels to rise (because of thermal expansion of water and melting of glaciers), and will alter the distribution of precipitation. Catastrophes such as flooding, drought, spread of disease, desertification of previously fertile areas are being predicted as a consequence.

Impact of climate change on the Muslim world

Climate change will adversely affect the world and Muslim majority countries are no exception. Decreased food production, as well as the melting of Himalayan glaciers and rise in sea levels will affect the lives of millions of Muslims. Economic difficulties, natural disasters and creation of refugees (due to disasters) can often disrupt the stability of a region. In fact, climate change has the potential of igniting armed conflict in much of the Muslim world.

Decreased food production

Since 1980, increased temperatures have already been causing a reduction in the global yield of wheat, maize and barley. The 2009 Report of the Arab Forum for Environment and Development (AFED) warned of depletion of agricultural land and spread of disease (e.g. malaria) in Arab countries.

Melting of Himalayan glaciers

An increase in the melting rate of the glaciers of the Himalayas can have devastating impact on Pakistan, India and Bangladesh, home to 1/3 of the global Muslim population. Indeed the Indian Space Research Organization has reported shrinking glaciers, and a recent study found that the temperature there had increased 2.2 ◦C over the past 20 years. Subsequently, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has predicted increased flooding over the next 30 years, and then a sharp reduction in the water supply that feeds these three countries.

Rise in sea levels

The AFED reported that 12% of Egypt’s farmland is at risk due to rise in sea levels, while another UN study suggests 8 million people will be displaced in Egypt if the sea level rises by just 1 meter. A rise of sea level by a foot, which could happen as early as 2040, would render 12% of Bangladesh’s population homeless.
The risk of rise in sea levels presents an even greater problem in island Muslim countries. Indonesia, the largest Muslim country, announced in 2007 that it could lose about 2,000 of its 18,000 islands by 2030. The problem is so bad in the Maldives, another island Muslim country, that the current government is considering purchasing land to relocate the country’s entire population!

Causes of climate change

Modern day climate change is attributed to a number of factors, but one stands out above all others: increased greenhouse gasses as a result of human activity. Since the Industrial Revolution humans have been releasing an increased amount of greenhouse gasses such as CO2 and methane at an unprecedented rate. This only accelerated in the post-world war II period. While there are many sources of emissions, burning fossil fuels has caused 75% of these emissions over 20 years.

It’s sad that there are many who deny either global warming, or the human cause of it, or both, despite the scientific evidence. The current evidence on climate change was assessed by IPCC and hasn’t been challenged by any national or international scientific body.

While Western countries contribute disproportionately to the problem, the rest of the world isn’t without blame. As of 2006, China and India were amongst the top 10 CO2 emitters, while on a per capita basis, the top four emitters were Qatar, United Arab Emirates, Kuwait, and Bahrain. And while Indonesia doesn’t directly emit a lot of greenhouse gasses, its destruction of its lush rainforests is making a huge contribution to CO2 emissions, since trees soak up carbon dioxide when they’re alive. Greenhouse gas emissions, the chief cause of climate change, are a problem worldwide.

What we can do about it

Many approaches can be taken to solving the problem of climate change, and no one approach is necessarily superior. Let’s look at how we can use Islamic principles of simplicity, foresight, dialogue and prayer to tackle the problem.

Simple lifestyle

If we look to the Sunnah of the prophet (peace be upon him), we see that he lived a lifestyle that was in accordance with the resources available, and one that did not exalt him above others. His bedding was crude, and he had few spare clothes. According to one report, there was hardly a day when the prophet had two square meals. During the digging of the trench, he starved just like the rest of his companions. Of course, the prophet’s intention was not inflict pain upon himself, it was only to conform his lifestyle with both the resources available, and so that his lifestyle was similar to everyone else.

Yet one of today’s problems is that some of us are consuming far more than others. These over consumers, then, tend to have a bigger carbon footprint (a measure of CO2 emissions per person). This overconsumption can be seen in our desire to constantly buy everything and waste much of it once we’re done. It can be seen when some of us will drive everywhere, instead of walking, biking, or taking transit as much of the world does. Ask yourself: if the prophet knew that much of Muslims and mankind was living with limited means, would he engage in such an extravagant lifestyle?

Foresight

Whilst in prison, prophet Yusuf (peace be upon him) was inquired of the interpretation of a dream. He explained that there would be seven years of prosperity followed by seven years of famine. He then advised that the surplus food production during prosperity be saved to make up for the deficit during famine. Prophet Yusuf was advising people to not just focus on the short-term but also on the long-term.

One of the biggest excuses given for the lack of action on climate change is that it will harm our economy today. While it is true that cutting greenhouse gas emissions today is not the best for our economy, we can’t ignore the catastrophic consequences of such inaction upon our future. This useful lesson for our leaders can also be applied to our every day lives. For example, buying energy saving appliances today will help reduce the change in climate tomorrow, not to mention the savings in electricity costs.

Dialogue

The Qur’an tells us to call upon people to do good, and for them to shun wrong. While this is an obligation upon everyone, Canadian Muslims are in a unique position for dialogue.
As Muslims, we can influence the ideas of the Muslim world. Many of us are immigrants, and still have close ties with our family in our native countries. We can use these ties to educate them about the issue. But we also have ties to influential people. For example, Dr. Tareq al-Swaidan, who often visits Canada and speaks to Muslims here, is also influential in Kuwait, which is one of the largest emitters of greenhouse gasses per capita. Perhaps Muslims can have dialogue with the eminent scholar so that he raises awareness for the issue in his native country.

As Canadians, we can lobby our leaders and politicians to adopt policies aimed at reducing greenhouse gas emissions. We can raise awareness about the issue by organizing talks, distributing literature, using social networking and in many other ways. Finally, we can act as good role models for everyone else by reducing our own consumption. There are many Muslim activists in Canada protesting against wars in Palestinian territories and Afghanistan. It’s high time we started protesting against greenhouse gas emissions.

Prayer

In the Qur’an, Allah asks us to call upon Him in prayers and He promises to answer them. Given that mankind is dependent upon Allah in every way, we certainly won’t be able to stop climate change without our Creator’s assistance.

However, our prayers need to be accompanied by action. The prophet always made prayers, but he also strove in his missions as hard as could. We, too, need to work hard to fight climate change, while asking Allah for help in this noble endeavour.

After all, the Qur’an says: “Verily, Allah does not change the condition of a people unless they change their inner selves.” (13:11)

The author wishes to remain anonymous.

by ISHRAQ ALIM

Some of you may have met me, while most are probably reading this wondering who I am? Well, let me shed some light on elements of my identity; I am your brother, your neighbor, your classmate, your friend, and a part of your community. Most of you are probably confused as to what I am talking about, but I hope, Insha’Allah (God Willing), to share my views of our Muslim campus community and perhaps contribute some insight on how to make it better.

Let’s start from the beginning. When I started here, at this wonderful university (no sarcasm intended), I felt alone. I was a fish going from my comfy high school pond to the ocean we call university. To avoid this loneliness on campus, I decided to make friends and be part of a new community. Under the advisement of my parents (whose primary goal was for me to find a girl), I joined a cultural club. At first it felt good to make friends and meet new people. But slowly, I began feeling out of place. Growing up in Canada as a proud Muslim, I felt that I had to conform to this “inherited culture”, and was regularly questioned about my personal beliefs. Don’t get me wrong- I like questions about my beliefs, but when someone does it in a condescending manner, you get the message that they are asking you for the sake of insulting you and not out of curiosity. “Oh, you don’t drink? What’s wrong with you?” was a question I regularly received due to my choice to abstain from alcohol. I soon left and began feeling alone, once again.

During my third year, I began getting involved with the Muslim Students’ Association (MSA), where I volunteered the Outreach Committee. This was a few years after 9/11 and I felt the need to explain to everyone on campus that I didn’t have intentions of killing them. Also, it felt good to come in at 8:00 am to set up the Islam Awareness Week booth at Sid Smith. It felt good to be part of this community and I felt accepted. The MSA was different; there are things in common between Muslims, but there is also diversity. The MSA organized different kinds of activities, from ski trips to blood drives to lectures about almost anything. I had friends who were locals like me, as well as those who were international students and they always supported me, even if it meant making small compromises.

The MSA was great and all, but I soon faced my first trial: my family and family friends. To them, I had made the ultimate betrayal; I left the “good” cultural community for the “conservative” and “dangerous” religious one. My parents warned me to be careful about what I got involved in. Their friends asked if I would marry a hijabi (someone who wears a headscarf). Due to the fact that many of my family friends don’t wear the hijab, it would be like me bringing home an alien, or worse, a white girl. I felt these questions were meaningless and I tried to explain to them that I wasn’t changing into something new, but rather exposing myself to new people who I got along with. My parents were the first to change their views of the MSA, but unfortunately, many of their friends still need a bit more convincing.

So that’s the story about how I joined the MSA. However, it’s not over, yet. You see, the MSA is great as an organization, but I want to make it more than that. I want it to become a real community. Many of you may be wondering how I might do that. To be honest, I don’t know everything, but I believe that if we work together as Muslims on campus, we can achieve this.

The first thing we need to do is to change our outlook on what the MSA is. If we keep seeing the MSA as an organization where the executives do things for you on demand, then we will never get out of this rut. We can start off small by calling ourselves a Muslim community rather than just an organization. If we say it enough times, perhaps others will catch on too. Next, we need to see the MSA as something that belongs to everyone on campus and we should all work together towards our common goal.

We, as Muslims, also need to end our current state of apathy if we are to be respected as individuals and as a campus community. I have seen that if given the opportunity, Muslims (including myself) will complain about anything and everything under the sun. Their family, the MSA, their work, their classes, Islamophobia, etc. Although all these topics are important and their complaints are valid, when Muslims are asked to do something about it, they immediately shake off any responsibility to change their situation with the most common excuse of all: “I am too busy.” Well, we are all busy, but some of us have taken it upon ourselves to make our lives and the lives of other Muslims on campus, better. So, as a reminder to us all, the next time we are about to complain about something, we should contemplate about what we have done to make things better.

As a community, we need to think of what goals we want to achieve and keep in mind where we would like to see the campus community in five, or even ten, years. Many of us may not be here as only students, but rather, we view it as something we are doing for the sake of Allah SWT to help those who will come after us. For too long, Muslims have simply come to this campus, received their degree, and left not thinking about what will happen to Muslims in the future. Our talents are wasted when they could be used to give back to students who are going through the same trials and tribulations you once went through.

Finally, to create a community, we must be inclusive. We should forget about the little things that divide us and work on the big things that unite us. Too many MSAs exclude people over the smallest reasons, such as how long one’s beard is or how a sister wears hijab or doesn’t wear hijab. Is this what community is about? Are we here to police people on standards we create ourselves? To me, the MSA is not about the “perfect” Muslim, but rather, for all Muslims who want to improve their deen (faith). By being inclusive, we should also reclaim our identity and be proud of being Muslim. If we have a community full of people who are ashamed of being Muslim, we will go nowhere.

I think I shared a lot and I hope you start to think of the Muslims on our campus as a community and not just a random group of people. Please be civil with one another and treat each other with kindness, as we are all struggling on the same boat. When you graduate, don’t forget the brothers and sisters you have left behind; just because they may not ask for your help, doesn’t mean that they will not need it.

Assalamu Alaikum; May the Peace and Blessings of God be with you,

Alhamdulillah (Praise be to God), we have made it to the last issue of the 09/10 school year. It has been a great run, and I want to thank everyone who has helped with The Muslim Voice magazine. I have been truly blessed with an amazing team of volunteers; you all occupy a special place in my heart and I love you for the sake of Allah SWT. May Allah SWT grant you success in this life and in the next, and I hope we get the opportunity to work together as a team again.

As we come to the end of the 09/10 school year, I want to leave you with something that has been engraved in me by one of my favourite contemporary thinkers: “We are here to serve the people, and we must do so with a critical mind, with love” (Tariq Ramadan). By “people”, he means our neighbours, our community, and our fellow Canadians. This beautiful country has opened its arms to us, and by the blessings of Allah SWT, we are able to reap the benefits of its embrace. For as long as we enjoy the blessing of being Canadian, it remains our duty to serve the Canadian community. Many of us live with this idea that our true home is ‘back home’, and so we become obsessed with the events of this ‘back home’ and neglect our duties to our country of citizenship. There is nothing wrong with helping the people in other countries, but when Allah SWT questions us on the Day of Judgement and asks us what we did for our neighbours, He SWT will not mean our neighbours on the other side of the planet. We will be held accountable for what we did for our community here—how we tackled the issue of homelessness and poverty, unjust treatment of the imprisoned and minority, and caring for the elderly and sick.

By “serv[ing] the people” blind subservience is not implied. We are in University to build a critical mind and hopefully we know more about our world to be able to question the decisions made by our government, the practices of our neighbours, and the agenda of the neo-colonialist world we live in. Therefore, when we serve, we must do so with pre-conceived knowledge of our community. In this, we can find examples from the life of the Prophet (peace be upon him). For example, the Prophet (peace be upon him) knew that cruelty to slaves and weaker tribes was rampant and often practiced by the leaders of his society—he also knew that it was wrong—and so he strongly condemned racism and upheld equality. The Prophet (peace be upon him) loved his people and he genuinely wanted to help them. We serve our Lord because we love Him. We serve our parents because we love them. Similarly, we can only serve our community if we love the members of it.
I write all this with the hopes of providing a trajectory on how to make it so we pursue an education for the sake of Allah SWT. Ignorance is no longer a blessing that we can enjoy after four years in university, because with knowledge comes great responsibility. We now have the means to think critically to create change for the better. So set your heart on just that—aspire to love your community and pursue a career where you can apply your knowledge to create change in society for the better, and ultimately serve your people to please Allah SWT.

Take care,
Ma Assalam; Peace out.

In her 2005 book Minaret, Leila Aboulela focuses the lens on Najwa. Najwa’s downturned gaze and hijab makes her a modest Muslim woman to her mosque friends and an obedient maid to her employers. In London Najwa learns to live the role of the invisible figures that catered to her as a young university student in Khartoum.

The story flashes back from London from the early 2000s to the mid 80s and 90s to recount the shattering events which transformed the secular, partying Najwa of Sudan to a humble housekeeper.

Why did Najwa replace her short mini-skirts to long floor length skirts? How did Najwa decide to tie her hair and cover every strand under the hijab? If a reader is seeking a romanticized depiction of Sudan with its fertile agricultural land, rivers and friendly citizens then I would not recommend Minaret. Najwa, a naïve narrator, relays what she sees and how she feels to the reader with no boundaries. As a result the reader is able to make connections and interpret the content with no directions. Identity in Minaret is displayed less as a struggle and more as a state of being. For Najwa Islam means peace for the mind and purity for the body.

Aboulela’s tranquil storytelling reflects to the reader Najwa’s observant and reflective nature. The South African Nobel Prize winner J. M Coetzee calls Minaret a “story of love and faith all the more moving for the restraint with which it is written” I warn readers of the strong attachment and identification felt towards Najwa. Her simplicity, sincerity and serenity make it hard to part with the words that reveal her deepest secrets and silent triumphs.

Please read responsibly.

WANT TO REVIEW SOMETHING? Send us your book, movie, music or restaurant reviews to The Muslim Voice! E-mail your submissions to: tmv@uoftmsa.com.

I drive out of the neighbourhood. I can’t stand the look of the neatly lined cars in the driveways. I want to escape this seemingly perfect place. I drive through the city’s downtown core. Too much going on for me to think. I drive past roads I have never heard of. I keep going. I am lost. I keep going. I hit a farm road. This is what I have been looking for. I turn onto it. It is deserted. I have gotten lucky. My dad is at work and my sisters are at school. I have 3 hours to just drive and think.

I begin to drive down the farm road. I pass red, gray, and blue barns. I see a stable. There are horses eating hay. I stop the car and get out. I jump over the fence and go into the stable. It’s quiet enough for me to hear the horses breathe. It’s peaceful. I stop thinking to pay attention to the farmer fixing his tractor. I ask him if he needs help. He accepts and I grab a wrench. I have never done this before. It is refreshing. I love this. I don’t know this man but I feel as if he is helping me. We finish up and he attempts to start the engine. It runs. We both high-five and feel great. He asks me if I would like to come in and have his wife make us lunch. I politely decline telling him I should be on my way. He tells me to hold on while he quickly runs into his house. I know I’m not scared but I can’t help wondering what he is going to bring out. He emerges from his front door carrying two bags of chips and two bottles of orange juice. We sit on the side of his truck, chat, and eat.

How this man knew something was wrong, I don’t know but I am grateful for the question he asks. “So now tell me, why are you upset?” I am taken aback. How did this stranger know something was wrong? Instead of questioning him, I being to spill my story. My elementary school days, my high school days, the first two years of university, this past summer, and finally, this year. He listens and periodically nods. He puts down his orange juice and clasps his hands together. He begins by telling me that I should never do anything to compromise the life that I have been given by God. He tells me that he grew up in a house which never turned into a home. His father was an alcoholic and his mother was a prostitute. I have no words to express my sadness. He understands and tells me that he has grown to appreciate the life he now lives. I am touched by how much insight this man has.

Once again, we delve into my issues. He now knows everything about me. I have told a stranger things that I have never disclosed to anyone else. Little did I know, it was the best decision that I could have made. I throw caution into the wind when he asks me if I would like to get out of the cold and come inside where his wife has a fire going. I agree and we head in. He leads me to the kitchen where his wife is cooking. She turns around and greets me with a friendly “hello”. I meekly smile and apologize for intruding. She waves it off and asks me if I like pasta. I say that I do and she tells me it will be ready in a couple of minutes so I should just go and get comfortable in the living room. I head over with her husband and we settle down with our glasses of lemonade.

“So, who is more important to you?” His question blows me away. How does he know which two people mean the most to me, other than my family? He understands my confusion from the look on my face and explains that every time I mentioned the names of those two people, my eyes lit up. I cannot fathom how this man knows so much. He makes me smile. I tell him that there is no question about it. The first person means more to me than the second ever will. I meekly tell him that the second one just has something to them that I cannot understand. He nods like he knows what I am talking about. His wife comes out carrying a tray holding three heaping plates of pasta. She hands me mine first so I hand it off to her husband. He looks at me and thanks me. He tells me that he is pleased to have met “a respectful young lady” who knows “how to treat people”. My heart is filled with love for these two strangers. I graciously take my plate from her and ask her to join us. She sits and I tell her my story so that she is caught up. Just like her husband, she nods and smiles. Her husband looks to his wife and then to me. He gets up, goes to the kitchen, and returns with a picture of a girl. I ask him who she is and he sadly replies, “my daughter”. I look to his wife for more answers and see that her eyes are filled with tears. I hand them both tissues and ask what happened. Drunk driver. I give my condolences but I know that is not enough. I ask about her and they well up with pride and tell me how she was the smartest girl in her high school. She was supposed to graduate in June but a drunk driver hit her while she was walking home from the library. What she says next, I will never be able to forget; “God has taken one of our angels but has graciously blessed us with another.” I get up and give her a hug. She tells me that instead of talking about her daughter, we should continue with our talk. I can see that they do not want to discuss the incident further and I comply.

He tells me the same thing that his wife did. They help me realize that I am throwing away something I truly love for momentary happiness. They tell me I am foolish for doubting myself and I know what the real answer is. I need to stop trying to get the wrong answer and accept that I am blessed to have the right answer in front of me. He tells me that, although he does not know me, he knows that I could never go that far away from something that my faith has set out. I finally understand what I have been told numerous times before. I thank them both. I ask them if there is anything that I can get for them and they refuse. She tells me that it has been a blessing for them to have met me. By this time, we have finished our plates and our glasses have been emptied. The tissue box is half of what it was before I arrived and the fire is slowly dying out.

I tell them that I will be back in a few minutes and they nod their heads simultaneously. It’s adorable. I go to the nearest florist and pick up three dozen roses. I return and hand them over. I thank them from the bottom of my heart for everything they have done for me. I owe them a lot. He tells me that he is grateful that I got out of my car to help him. He said that he knew something would grow out of that first encounter. I smile and thank them again. I give her a hug and give him a high-five. We all burst into a fit of laughter. I say my goodbyes and get into my car. He runs after me and tells me to return if I ever need them. I ask if I should leave my phone number. He refuses and tells me that he knows that when they are in need of my company, I’ll know, and I will come. I smile and tell him that I hope that is the case. I wave and drive off.

My head is cleared and I turn my music up. I enjoy the drive and laugh at my memories from that eventful encounter. I look to my passenger seat and notice a sheet of paper. I stop the car and unfold it. It was obviously written in a hurry as it is written on the back of a flyer and in red pen. Right away, I know that she has written it. She must have put it through the passenger side window while I was talking to him through my window. On the back of the flyer is written, “We love you and always will.” I clasp my hands together and make a quick dua. I ask God to bless them with the most happiness possible, help them through their time of need, and grant them the highest level of Heaven.

Why I drove down that road, I will not know. Why I stopped and offered my assistance, I do not know. How God knew that I needed them, I will never know. I am thankful for them. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful for my faith. I am thankful to God. I have finally realized I have everything I ever need, from an unlikely source.

The author wishes to remain anonymous.